5 reasons why you should write

should write

5 reasons why you should write:

  1. You should write if you have something to say
  2. You should write if you have something to say that’s important
  3. That means you have something to say that’s important that people actually want to listen to
  4. You have a modicum of writing ability that allows you to bring these points of view to the attention of the world
  5. You have something to say

20 reasons why you shouldn’t write:

  1. You’ve read Twilight and think you could do better
  2. You think vampires are real
  3. You think people will respect you at last
  4. You think if Dan Brown could do it, why can’t I?
  5. You have no friends
  6. You have no understanding of grammar or plot or what a capital letter is
  7. You pooped in your pants this morning
  8. You reread your first draft, giggled, stuck your fingers up your chaff and said “That works for me.”
  9. You have no friends
  10. You actually think the people around you are real
  11. You blew your nose and a plot emerged
  12. You realised your pants are far too small for your body
  13. You think vampires are really real
  14. You have no friends, really you don’t
  15. You think writing is easy
  16. Your chest has just exploded and Alexander Solsen…Solsenytch…Dumas has jumped out
  17. You don’t realise that what you have written is crap and you should be in a fucking mental asylum
  18. Did you poop in your pants this morning?
  19. Someone once told you that your handwriting is nice
  20. You don’t know the difference between they’re, their and there

7 thoughts on “5 reasons why you should write

  1. I loved #16. I used to speak Russian and I still couldn’t spell it off the top of my head. Dumas is much, much easier.

  2. Some great points their! I mean they’re. Oh, damn.

  3. I don’t know, dude. My prof followed number #1 and now she has a fricken’ best-selling series (A Discovery of Witches). I won’t remind everyone of the travesty that is Gray-shades something-something-mumble-mumble.

  4. I’ve missed your dark, toilet humour, Ziggy. Nice to see some things don’t change, eden

  5. I have another tip, this one for my friend, Emily, … don’t be afraid of constructive criticism and criticism, itself.

  6. I’m glad I’m not the only one that asks people if they’ve pooped their pants.

    1. I’m glad to hear it!

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