Monthly Archives: October 2012

Buying book reviews is stupid

buying book reviews
Buying book reviews seems to be on the increase and that can be bad news for all you indie authors out there.

Okay, I’m only going to say this once…

If you’re an indie author and your Amazon page has 142 five star reviews and 10 one star reviews…you know what? I’m gonna think you’re a lying sack of doodah and that you bought those five star reviews in the vain and stupid hope that someone would actually think you were a good writer.

WAKE UP CALL: You’re not.

You’re a dick and, what’s more, you’re making the indie market look bad.

Okay, I can see your point of view, this could be completely innocent. I mean, there could be a couple of things going on here:

  1. You’re a good/decent writer and you’ve written a good/decent book. You just want to give yourself a helping hand and figure…well, why the fuck not, everyone else is doing it.
  2. You’re a shit writer (and let’s face, most of you who do this are) and you just want to try and sell a few more books.

Here’s the thing. I’ve come across a few of these so-called marvellous tomes of literary genius and didn’t quite believe the hype. So I downloaded the free pages.

You know you can do that, right? You who think no one will actually notice that your book is the biggest pile of kack since Mr Kack wrote This Book is Fucking KACK!

None of the books that had fifty or more 5 star reviews were good. NONE OF THEM!!! They were shit.

Now, you either know that they were shit or you’ve deluded yourself into thinking they were non-shit.

Either way you’re a dick.

STOP DOING IT!!!!!!

If you have to lie about how good your book is, then you shouldn’t be writing anyway.

Look, I know you want to be a writer. You desperately want to be known as a writer. But that doesn’t mean you should be allowed to lie and cheat about it. In the end, you’re only cheating yourself.

Here endeth my rant on buying book reviews.

Please forgive the multiple exclamation marks. In my defence, I have partaken of Mr Scotch. Please feel free to add your own rants in the comments section below.